We knew animal sex isn’t always romantic, but this?
Our blog editor Mark just wrote about sea slugs cutting off their own penises – and now there’s new scientific research on the never ending hard-on of alligators. Time for an update: what are the weirdest penises in the animal kingdom?
10. The spiky cat penis
One that may be a bit too intertwined with your everyday live is the penis of cats. It hurts the female, because it’s covered with spikes that scratch out the sperm of earlier mates. Still, most cats have a very rich sex life, as you can see in this video:
9. The four-hooked fish penis
The llanos mosquito fish, with colorful anal spots around the females vagina, takes it a step further. The males actually have four-hooked penises to overcome pickiness in females. You can read all about it here.
8. The always ready alligator penis
Now the alligator. It turns out its penis always has the same size and hardness. If the owner wants to put it to use he just has to flip it out. Kind of makes sense, it’s how we know the alligator: seemingly relaxed but always ready for action.
7. The impressively long duck penis
You wouldn’t think ducks are very sexy, but some of them have really evolved into banging masters. Argentine blue-bill lake ducks have a penis that can grow up to 17 inches long. This is about the length of their own body. Weird, because most male birds don’t even have a penis.
6. The disposable sea slug penis
These sea slugs are hermaphrodites that penetrate each other simultaneously. And when the act is done, the penis is disposed. Don’t worry, it will grow back. Want to know more? Read this.
5. The break through bed bug penis
Maybe you just don’t want to know, but bed bugs also have sex. The girls don’t have any openings for it though. That’s why the penis of the males are very pointy. They just hammer their way through the lady’s skin, which is called traumatic insemination.
4. The needs-to-be-first flat worm penis
This is another one of these animals that are both female and male at the same time: the flat worm. But the weird thing about their genitals (two white spikes on the undersides of their heads) is yet to come. Because it costs more energy to make eggs than sperm, when two flat worms fancy each other, they start to hassle about who’s gonna be the father of their offspring. The worms have a true penis battle, trying to insert sperm into the other without getting pregnant themselves.
3. The beats-all barnacle penis
You have seen them multiple times: the barnacle, stuck to rocks, whales or the bottom of your boat. But you never knew they actually can be considered the winners of the large penis contest. It reaches up to eight times their own body length. They need it to be this large though, because they cannot really move. That’s why they can also shoot their sperm to make it travel long-distance.
2. The dick head slug penis
The leopard slug is also known as dickhead, because its dick comes right out of its head, stretching as long as its own body. What the act of copulation looks like is disgustingly and hilariously demonstrated in this video:
1. The detachable octopus penis
When scientists first saw it, they thought it was a parasitic worm. Years later they discovered it was actually the detachable penis of an octopus. The species is known as the Argonaut and can fill one of its arms with sperm. Then this arm is detached and finds its way into a female. Unfortunately the Casanova Argonaut can only do this once in a lifetime.
Langerhans, R., Gifford, M., Domínguez-Domínguez, O., García-Bedoya, D., & DeWitt, T. (2012).
(Cyprinodontiformes: Poeciliidae): a new species of mosquitofish from east-central México
Journal of Fish Biology, 81 (5), 1514-1539 DOI: 10.1111/j.1095-8649.2012.03397.x
animals genitalia, seks dieren