Newcaste medical team investigated the sex of Darwin Award winners.
“Men only have two faults: Everything they say and everything they do”
There’s one prestigious honor, the Darwin Award, which is given to people that helped improving the human gene pool. However, nobody is really keen on receiving this noble recognition: Darwin Award winners eliminate themselves (or anyway lose their reproductive abilities) in such stupid ways that ensure there’s an idiot less on Earth.
This year’s winner is a lover who has been a bit too extreme: his intimate parts were undergoing necrosis due to an unbreakable titanium ring he decided to wear (maybe he proposed to his penis?). Eventually he had to be fully castrated. Last year Hanging Chad won the prize, in 2012 it was Gary’s turn, and 2011’s winner was Mr. Contos.
To summarize: man, man, man, man. Either the Darwin Award jury has its preference, or men are morons. This masculine dynasty was noticed by a group of (male) medical doctors from the United Kingdom, who decided to investigate this weird fact.
Men are like trees: they take forever to grow up. That’s a fact all the women on Earth know well. Even the (male) cartoonist John McPherson knew it when he was working on his “Women are from Venus, men are idiots”. The news is that there is now further scientific evidence that proves it.
The Newcastle medical team simply took note of the sex of Darwin Award winners since 1995, when the grant was established, and analysed the data by means of statistics. I am sure you already guess the results, unless you are a man: men do more stupid things. If we want to be Aristotelian we can make a syllogism: men do silly things, silly things are done by idiots, and hence men are idiots.
However, feminists should wait before crying for victory: the Darwin Award nomination may be full of bias we are not aware of. In such ‘uncontrolled conditions’, far away from confined laboratory settings, it is difficult to take into account any parameters that may play a role. That is why the researchers proposed further studies in a ‘semi-naturalistic Christmas party setting‘. What I am asking myself is if they are going to analyse the ugly Christmas sweaters…
While waiting for the publication of their next study I will continue blaming my boyfriend for having broken the eggs because he pretended to be a juggler, and he will keep on laughing on my car parking skills. On the other side, we will both appreciate each other’s qualities and be aware that we are equal, no matter what gender we are.
Lendrem BA, Lendrem DW, Gray A, & Isaacs JD (2014). The Darwin Awards: sex differences in idiotic behaviour. BMJ (Clinical research ed.), 349 PMID: 25500113
The Darwin Awards: in search of smart.
men, darwin, stupid, darwin award, feminist, newcastle, gender